Short Summary
- "The book offers 92 practical suggestions to enhance your human communication abilities in various contexts, allowing you to create stronger initial impressions and refine your influence tactics."
The author opens the book by telling us there are two kinds of people, the ones who enter a room and think, “Here I am,” and the others who think when they enter a room, “Ah! There You Are”. People love when they are paid attention to. Her drama teacher once told her that the way you move is your autobiography in motion. The book is divided into seven chapters consisting of 92 little tricks for big success in relationships. After taking heed of the tips given in the How To Talk To Anyone book summary, you can talk to anyone to your own benefit.
HOW TO INTRIGUE EVERYONE WITHOUT SAYING A WORD?
Positive Body Language
The way we move and carry our body is more than 80% of our first impression to others. Scientific studies have shown that our brains experience emotional reactions before they have time to register what is causing their reactions. The ideal image of a person is in his great bold posture with the heads-up look, direct gaze, and bold, confident smile. Rehearse being the super somebody you want to be ahead of time.
Bold Smile
Smile when you meet someone. Don’t flash an immediate smile when you greet someone, as though anyone who walked into your line of sight would be the beneficiary. First, look at their face for a second, pause, soak in their persona, and then let a big warm smile flood over your face and slowly overflow into your eyes.
Eye Contact
Intense eye contact makes u respectable and gives an impression of intelligence and an abstract thinker. Don’t break eye contact even after the conversation is over; continue looking into their eyes, and break eye contact slowly and reluctantly. It sends a message of respect and comprehension. Watch your target person even when someone else is talking. No matter who speaks, keep looking at the man or woman you want to have an impact on.
Epoxy Eyes For Romance
If your goal is romance, then epoxy eyes are proven aphrodisiacs. They transmit the idea, “I can’t take my eyes off of you.” They are a big turn-on. If a woman finds you attractive, epoxy eyes are extremely effective. The secret of making people like you is showing them how much you like them. Always meet people like they are your old friends.
Never fidget, wiggle, twitch, or scratch while talking where a conversation counts. Always keep your hands off your face. Always keep a keen eye on how your listener reacts and reacts accordingly while talking to others.
HOW TO KNOW WHAT TO SAY AFTER YOU SAY “HI”
KEEP THE SMALL TALK LIGHT
Always keep in mind that small talk is not about facts or words. Small talk is about music, melody, and weather because it keeps people at ease and always tries to lift their moods. Almost anything you say at first is fine as long as it puts people at ease and sounds relevant and passionate. 80% of your listeners’ impression has nothing to do with your text. The tone is more important than the text or content of your conversation.
Avoid complaining, rude and unpleasant comments or remarks. Don’t forget to wear or carry something unusual to give people who find you delightful an excuse to approach and ask, “what’s that?”. Simply ask the party giver to make the introduction or pump for a few facts you can immediately turn into icebreakers.
KEEN OBSERVATION
Pay attention to the people’s apparel you wish to talk to, and don’t throw an unbaited hook when introducing people. Avoid giving one-word answers whenever someone asks you the inevitable ‘where are you from’ and learn engaging facts about your hometown that interest people to comment on.
Then, when they say something clever in response to your bait, they think you’re a great conversationalist. And where are you from? Be a good word detective by listening to your partner and scanning every word for clues to his or her favourite topic. Express yourself, but keep a keen eye on how your listener reacts to what you’re saying. Then plan your moves accordingly.
KEEP THE SPOTLIGHT ON YOUR PARTNER
You grow more by listening than by talking. When you are trying to talk to someone, keep the spotlight on your partner, which will make you more interesting to them. Always know the latest news before you leave home and save your skeletons in the closet for later. Throw some delicious facts about your job for new acquaintances to munch on.
HOW TO TALK LIKE A VIP?
To give an impression that you are somebody, replace the question “what do you do” with “how do you spend most of your time?.” Replace the common words you use with new catchy words. After perceiving some common ground with your partner, wait for some time before you disclose it. Start every sentence with an appropriate word because it grabs your listeners’ attention and elicits a positive response. While meeting more than one person, greet each person with a distinct smile.
DUCK AWKWARD QUESTIONS
Avoid talking cliche, don’t hide behind euphemisms, and never make a joke at someone else’s expense. Before making any comment pay attention to the receiver’s background to avoid embarrassment. When someone insists on your answer on some awkward subject, you must use precisely the same words and the same tone of voice to duck that question.
DO NOT SLOBBER OVER CELEBRITIES
Don’t overcompliment the celebrities because big shots don’t slobber over them. If you want to give some compliments while talking to a celebrity about their accomplishments, always choose their recent work.
Also, never say a naked thank you, instead, follow it with “thank you for…”
HOW TO BE AN INSIDER IN ANY CROWD?
SCRAMBLE THERAPY
Make an effort once a month to do something you have never done before. It is called scramble therapy, so once a month, you scramble your life by participating in an activity new for you. Learn a little about the language of new professions with an insider’s help.
ADVANCE RESEARCH
Find out about hot issues in other fields because every industry has some burning issues the outside world knows little about. Do read a book about cultural customs and taboos about the places you are going to visit. Knowing insider information considerably lowers the prices.
INSTANT RAPPORT
THE RULE OF ECHO
Gaining instant rapport by observing people in an alien environment gives you an extra edge. People feel comfortable communicating with those who share the same values as them. Match your personality with the product you are offering.
Echo the words and terms you listen to because it creates subliminal rapport instantly. Try to vocalize complete sentences to show your understanding. Create a sensation of intimacy with someone, even if you have just met them. When you meet a stranger, you’d like to make less of a stranger, search for some special moment you shared during your first encounter.
HOW TO DIFFERENTIATE THE POWER OF PRAISE FROM THE FOLLY OF FLATTERY
BE A CARRIER PIGEON KUDOS
An overheard flattery at your back is more effective and satisfying than an outright flattery on your face. Be a carrier of good news. When you hear good news about someone, make an effort to disclose it personally. Become a carrier pigeon kudos. Throw a few comments into your conversation that presuppose something positive about the person you’re talking with. Become an undercover complimenter by stealthily sneaking praise into your sentences. Look for some attractive quality he or she has but deliver killer compliments privately and not more than once half a year to each recipient.
RECIPROCATE COMPLIMENTS
Let them know how much you appreciate them by caressing them with verbal little strokes. Never fail to reciprocate the compliments by quickly responding with “that’s very kind of you.” Ask people what they would like engraved on their tombstones and keep it stored in their memory for the future. Say, “I appreciate you” or “I love you” when it is right to say it. Fill in the blanks with the words they gave you weeks earlier. Whenever someone does you a favour, remember to return it in time.
REMEMBER NAMES
In today’s world, lots of communication takes place on phones so learn about talking gestures. You should turn your gestures into words and sounds. Say their names and use them more often to keep their attention because people perk up when they hear them. Answer the phones professionally and crisply and spill a huge smile of happiness into your voice. Always record your business calls and listen to them again to improve them by replacing new words and improving your tone. There is always room for improvement.
HOW TO WORK FOR A PARTY LIKE A POLITICIAN WORKS A ROOM?
AVOID MUNCHING
You can do either munching or mingling. You cannot do both. Politicians know it, and they never hold food or drink at parties. Eat food before the party begins. Before mingling with the guests, stop at the entrance dramatically, take a look, slowly survey the situation, and then enter.
OPEN POSTURE
Assume an open posture and try to be a human magnet, not a human repellent. Keep your eyes open, observe the minute details, and use them complimentary during conversations. It creates a powerful sense of intimacy.
TAKE NOTES
After talking to someone at a party, take notes to remind you of the details of the conversation. Observe the person’s body language and signals and plan your pitch and pace accordingly. People will say you pick up on everything. You never miss a trick.
MATCH MOODS
Take a psychic photograph of the expression to see if your listener looks buoyant, bored, or blitzed. If you ever want to bring people around to your thoughts, you must match their mood and voice tone, if only for a moment. See no bloopers and hear no bloopers. Always lend a helping tongue by reminding your partner to complete his aborted story after some interruption.
WHAT IS IN IT FOR (me & you)
Remember WIIFM(what is in it for me) and WIIFU(what is in it for you) whenever you ask for a meeting or favour, never forget to divulge the respective benefits and reveal what is in it for you and the other person. When you do someone a favour, and it’s obvious they owe you one, wait a suitable amount of time before asking them to pay.
LEARN TO DIFFERENTIATE THE NATURE OF THE SITUATION
It is normal to eat while brainstorming and discussing the positive side of the business but not for tough talk and unpleasant topics. Avoid serious conversations on chance encounters because chance encounters are only for small and casual chit-chat.
BE CHIVALRIC
To hear the facts but echo the emotions of your partner, and if you have made some mistake, admit it or make the victim benefit. Let the culprit go unless it is your job to confront and catch the dirty duck.
LEARN THE ART OF FLATTERY FOR MANIPULATION
A surefire to get special treatment and care in the future is to send a flattering letter about them to their boss. Always be generous to applaud and publicly commend the person who deserves it. Remember that progress and excellence are not solitary actions in isolation. It is an outcome of years of struggle, grinding day in and day out, making small and smooth moves. Remember, repeating an action makes a habit. Your habits create your character. And your character is your destiny. May success be your destiny.
